This is my first attempt at a poem, so I am well aware I should keep my job, but I wanted to share it here on Lindsey’s 40th birthday. It’s just a love thing💜from my heart to hers.
WITH LOVE TO MY DAUGHTER ON HER BIRTHDAY
Another day, another sky,
Another leaf, just floating by.
Another season, another sigh,
Another year of asking why.
The question still “why me” you ask,
“Why not” the answer, the ultimate task.
Figure it out, this “new normal” they say,
I know you didn’t choose it, but it won’t go away.
It follows you around like a very needy child.
It begs for your attention,
Sometimes harsh and sometimes mild.
It can be painful, it can be sad,
It can be exhausting and it can be bad.
Grief, they say, is necessary.
Grief, they say, will make you weary.
Grief, they say, will become your friend.
Grief, they say, really has no end.
So how to carry this heavy load,
On your back, in your heart,
Like bags of seed to be sowed.
Who are “they” you ask as you read these words.
They are the world you knew, filled with rainbows and birds.
See, the world didn’t change, just “your” life fell apart.
Now you must find glue to mend it and get a new start.
It’s a lot to expect from such a fragile one,
It’s a lot on your plate when you’d rather just run.
Run from the world with its laughter and joy.
Run from the people, the ones who annoy.
Hide your tears in the shower and sometimes the car.
Hide your feelings to protect them from your sadness and scars.
You must be strong for everyone else, don’t ruin their day,
Don’t bring up the subject because many won’t stay.
How do you carry it, this burden of loss?
You carry the memories of love like a boss.
You thrust out your chest,
You scream out their name.
You keep them alive between the tears and the pain.
The love is so worth it, it lightens the load,
The sound of their name makes you want to explode.
Saying “Look at my daughter”, “Look at my son”,
How could God trust me with this precious one?
If I was given a choice I’d do it again,
And suffer the pain and the hurt at the end.
You were so worth it, the love was so deep.
The memories we made were like harvest you reap.
The grief that I’m feeling, the sadness, the fear,
Is, in the end, the reason I’m here.
You made me tough, you made me strong,
You made me want to carry on.
Life can be hard and life can be great,
The journeys not over, it’s never too late.
Find the joy in the memories and the love that you had,
Find the peace and the hope and life won’t be that bad.
Forever in my Heart, Forever in my mind,
My daughter, my angel, Forever twenty-nine💜
Amanda, Lindsey, & Tiffany’s Mom